It is not so easy being a self-reliant and independent person. Try, work, struggle and try again. On and on, an endless cycle. Some people claim that work is fulfillment, and it is true that it can be just that. Whether that is something good for you, however, depends on your goals and perspective, depends on what you are looking to fill yourself with.

Another way of looking at this might be people some would label as irrational. They say their heads are filled with voices. But have you ever wondered where the voice you call your own comes from? How do you know whether the voice or voices you hear are yours?

When spiritual teachers talk about ‘emptying the mind,’ this can be a somewhat misleading expression. It suggests that there are no thoughts, nothing present. Emptying the mind is like taking a glass full of milk that has been left out on the table too long. The milk gets sour. So, we empty the glass and wash it out; this is emptying the mind of (s)our clutter. But it doesn’t stop there. We reach for a bottle of fresh milk, open the cap and let its’ cool liquid spill down our throat. This is the in-rush or through-put of living in the moment, allowing clear, clean thoughts to flow in and through us. We don’t think about drinking the milk; we just drink – and in the moment-by-moment drinking of it, we experience it – with little to no thought.

One way to get potable water is to desalinate it, while another way is to drink it straight from a fresh mountain spring. One way takes a great deal of effort to get from point A to point B; the other way is effortless – we simply drink it straight from the source.

We can’t drink an entire mountain stream. We sip some, some spills down our chin, and the rest flows downstream. Simply drink. Let thoughts flow in and out

It is not so easy being a self-reliant and independent person. So, stop thinking so much. Stop trying so hard. Open your mind and drink straight from the source.

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If you want to measure the value of a person’s life, look at the affect of their life on their world, on the people in their life. Look into their close relationships. Look at how they make other’s feel about themselves.

There is no need to wait until we die to stand before the so-called Seat of Judgment. It is all happening right now, in plain view.

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Coming from the martial arts or ‘warrior’ tradition, I have learned to connect to the Heart. Not all martial artists learn this, but a refined teacher will endeavor to impart it. And of course there are other ways to learn this… teachers and life’s manner of teaching us comes in many forms.

My first glimpses of what living from or centered in the Heart means came when I was dominated by self criticism and the torment and anguish that results in living that way. I will never forget how confused I was. One day I was with my teacher, and he was pushing a few of my buttons in this regard. It suddenly became too much. It seemed no matter which way the conversation was turning, I was facing all of this darkness and self judgment.

Suddenly, in the emotion of the moment, I looked at him and burst out, “Look, I don’t care about ANY of that. All I know is this: I have a good Heart! I am a good person in here.” I was tapping my chest over my heart, wailing my words. He instantly paused and looked at me, quietly nodding.

As time passed I became more and more in touch with this deeper part of me. The thing I was expressing to him had a certain purity and innocence that I could actually feel. That innocence was deeper than all my screw ups, deeper than any judgments put on me by other people. In that moment of outburst, I realize that I was standing up for that deeper part of me. In time, I realized that this feeling is the so-called innocence or the ‘heart of a child’ referred to in scripture.

This is not all that hard a place to feel or to find inside of ourselves. But typically it is so bruised and battered that we don’t want to expose it, for fear of laying bare our vulnerability to once again get hurt. Yet, it is from past or below this place that deeper truth emerges, it is from this place that deeper truth’s voice expresses itself, and it is from this place that we discern deeper truth.

At some point the warrior realizes this, as does any spiritual seeker, and he/she begins to endeavor to connect to, express from, and live more and more from the Heart. In time I began to realize I could live from this spot successfully, that I wasn’t as vulnerable as I thought.

Yet, there is a vulnerability that continues to exist because we are no longer submerging this part of ourselves out of fear of getting hurt, but rather we are living more and more centered in the Heart.

It is through the Heart that Love passes through us and extends out into our life and our world. If I clamp down on my Heart, I am clamping down on Love. So, I would rather live from the Heart, and take my chances on getting hurt, compared to suppressing and masking over my Heart with layers of guilt, fear and doubt.

Very recently I found myself faced with a choice that involved risk to my Heart. Should I minimize the risk by closing down or shielding part of my Heart, or should I open my Heart and just be me - exposing myself to a potential deep hurt. I chose to keep my Heart open and to live centered as deeply in Love as I know how to do. I am not saying we shouldn’t protect our Hearts. I would, however, rather be free to be me than to live trapped in and dominated by fear and doubt. I still have these negative attributes, but I am no longer dominated by them.

Self hatred, fear, doubt and guilt are tiring and punishing. Living from the Heart, while it exposes me to being hurt, is a far more tender and wonderful place to reside and live from. As my friend James Souttar says,

The warrior’s life and death predicament puts this into perspective - it’s not that one might be hurt, but that if one doesn’t act impeccably one will be hurt.

This strikes at the very ‘heart’ of the issue, doesn’t it? That we will inevitably get hurt, and hurt again and again, until we learn to center in and live from Heart. In that context, it is not the risk we think typically think of it as. And, it takes far less energy to live from the Heart than to maintain all this stinking guilt and anxiety.

Living centered in the Heart is living within the eye or the calm that is at the center of the storm. I am still in the storm of life, I still get battered, but I find a calmness and peace in living from the Heart that is well worth the risks.

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EDITOR’S NOTE: James Souttar recently suggested the following (the bold emphasis is mine):

Is it that we can’t see the point, or is it that we lack the skills to stay with it? It increasingly seems to me that it’s not enough to just want ‘better blogging’ - we need to find better ways to blog.

I have to confess I’m not good at listening - I often seize a point I want to explore before I’ve finished someone’s comment. I’m also long winded, so I don’t suppose that many people finish my comments either. And I suspect that it’s simple things like this - impatience, and the desire to raise one’s own points (rather than ‘appreciate’ someone else’s) - that most frequently derail our attempts at dialogue.

It would be interesting to try an experiment and invite everyone - if only for the course of the experiment - to do what I know I frequently don’t do (and I’m sure others fail to do likewise), namely:

* to read the whole of the post and the comments before replying;

* to try to identify the point under consideration;

* to resist the temptation to raise other points;

* and to add value to the point as it has been developed.

How about it?

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Spiritual advancement is stuck in hyper and hypoglycemic highs and lows, in a constant shift from euphoria to depression and all points in between - except, that is, the center.

In the world of controls and engineering this ‘overshoot and droop’ is recognized to be caused by bias and error. In controls design and programming, these are known, surmountable effects, yet we distort them in our spiritual language using outdated terms like sin and wrong, confronting bias and error from a perspective that completely negates the potential effects of simple engineering solutions.

Trapped within the consequences of inane platitudes, sugar-coated traditions and outgrown ideals, we worship the highs and lows of ‘finding’ fulfillment first here and then there. Our salvation lies within the plain language and application of universal principles, yet we stubbornly cling to the addictions of familiar terms and approaches - even though we know they don’t work.

Spiritual blogs can be particularly tormenting, especially the ones that Read the rest of this entry »

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“It is crucial not to fix your eyes on one place,” states Kadensho, the Hereditary Book of the Martial Arts, by Yagyu Tajimanokami Muenori (1571-1647). His essential advice for martial artists is also true for spiritual seekers. It describes a certain state of mind.

“In judging your opponent’s reaction to the trap you set for him, see him without looking at him; that is, do not fix your eyes on one place. Keep your eyes in motion all the time, and catch glimpses between each movement.”

I have been reading stuff like this for years. It sounds great, but what does it mean in practical terms? There are people in everyday life who possess a degree of understanding about this. A dedicated martial artist comes to understand it, and to realize it. Boxers know this, as do world class tennis players. They hardly think about the game - it is coming too fast. They go into a zone.

Here is what this saying means to me: learn to gaze when I look at someone or something. Because the thing I am looking for, the thing I am wanting to connect more deeply with is ‘in between’ movement, in between words, in between right and wrong. It can be found in a gaze, and in a feeling. Stop thinking so much. It is in the middle, in the center… a place I am unaccustomed to looking at and dwelling in.

Tabata, Kazumi. Secret Tactics. Tuttle: North Clarendon. 2003. (6)
Photo credit: Gaze, by Manuel Librodo

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“Waiting on the World to Change” is John Mayer’s new tune. In a CNN interview he commented on the human condition, and our propensity for either/or, but never center.

“I don’t think a black and white view is going to work anymore. I don’t like for and against. I think it’s lazy.”

CNN Headline News, 10 Sep 2006

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One evening a Shinto priest, Hideo Izumoto, was surrounded by a group of Great River students who were respectfully asking questions. One student had been quietly but anxiously waiting her turn. After posing her question, Master Hideo nodded softly and after a brief pause gently said, “You need to stop thinking so much.” She smiled quizzically and slowly walked away, thinking about what he had just said.

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